there are dumplings on the horizon...

11.27.2011

The Devil's Dictionary (SE Asia Edition)

Hot Shower: A stream of water too small & too lukewarm to cause hypothermia
 
Hard Sleeper: A hard bunk for overnight passage with many smoking buddies
 
Soft Sleeper: A hard bunk for overnight passage with fewer smoking buddies than in a hard sleeper
 
Traffic Law: The widely understood principle that one should honk one's horn at the sight of an oncoming vehicle, pedestrian, or nonchristian thought
 
Dog: The most sacred of all animals  May they be as abundant as the semiedible filth allows
 
Thai Massage:  A singular testing of the hypothesis of King Thasamlapurtha that one women is not able to rip the flesh from the bones of anyone with her bare hands
 
English Menu:  A curated list of food items that do not contain chili pepper and must contain at least 75% of either pizza, pasta, or burgers
 
Price: About 1000% of what you could be paying
 
Tuk Tuk: A fine multipurpose motorvehicle designed for the conveyance of the ignorantly wealthy & large quantities of heroin
 
Monk: The most profitable & fastest growing occupation
 
Spicy: Containing at least a trace of bell peppers
 
Thai Spicy: Containing enough chilis to numb the mouth and face for the rest of the night
 
Guidebook:  An outdated tome of time-sensitive material.

No comments:

Post a Comment